Drink this...

Can Newgie gather the news for this...

So, I was encouraged by CREAMAid to try out a new beta news gathering service, Newgie.

What I like about it so far? It is very user friendly, has many built in rss feeds already set up, it's easy to navigate and easy to pick and choose the categories of news you are interested in. It also ranks the stories based on what others have shown interest in, identifying the hotest and most buzzworthy news.  It's social too, you can add your friends and get their news and you can share news of interest in various Newgie communities.

What I didn't like about it? Well, you know the first news category I set was Sports > Auto Racing > NASCAR.  The most recent story it returned was dated Oct. 29th.  Um, this is Nov. 3.  That's REALLY not gonna work for me.  Other feeds than what you see below seem to be there (specifically Yahoo! and Fox Sports NASCAR News), however, they just don't seem to be being picked up by the NASCAR category.  Since gathering the news is the most important task of this little operation, this area needs work. 

Overall, the online-based, free service has potential. The layout out could use some sprucing up, but not at the expense of it's easy navigation.  If they can get their feeds up to speed, Newgie could be one stop news shopping.

C'mon, get happy listening to this...

Music Makes Your Brain Happy

Senator passes through the gates of this...

From the inbox of this...

While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you." "No problem, just let me in," says the man

"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity." "Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the senator. "I'm sorry, but we have our rules."

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises...

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him. "Now it's time to visit heaven." So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing.  They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity." The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers:  "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell."

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.
Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. "I don't understand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"

The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning...... Today you voted."

We've been recalled by this...

God Announces Recall of Entire Human Race

MORGANTON, W.V. - In what business analysts are calling a move unprecedented in the history of manufacturing, God announced yesterday the immediate recall of all currently functioning human beings. The action came after centuries of complaints to God by human beings who have long contended that something was seriously wrong with the human race. [...]

In the announcement God categorically denied that the recall was the result of a manufacturer's defect.

As one legal analyst noted, "While there is little record of mankind ever operating properly, it is also true that no human has ever been operated according to any of the manufacturer's instructions."

"I think we can safely say that the warranty on human beings is universally void," a product liability specialist added.

Despite this, God declared that He has extended the grace period for returns far beyond what is called for by law, offering it to all persons who admit a failure to operate according to design specifications and who promise that future operation will adhere to manufacturer's guidelines. God also said He will personally bear the costs of restoration for each and every individual accepting this offer.

Read the entire text of the recall at postcards from the pug bus.

J-dating 50 bucks outta this...

Unlike David and Claire, Darren and Joanne actually went out on a date. The date itself isn't nearly as entertaining as the aftermath of this...

PR. Differently: How Not to Act on J-Date (complete with audio)