Answer this...

How grandpa feels about this...

Q. Martin Holmes on Katie Holmes' baby
A. Katie’s dad furious about shotgun wedding

Jeannette Walls has the scoop on this...

Tom Cruise’s future father-in-law apparently isn’t a happy camper.

Katie Holmes’s dad is said to be "very upset" because his unmarried daughter is pregnant with Cruise's child. And, what’s more, the devoutly Catholic Martin Holmes reportedly is none-too-thrilled about his daughter’s involvement in her husband-to-be’s controversial religion, Scientology. [...]

How far along is this...?

It's only been 4 days since we learned that the spawn of Xenu had been immaculately conceived by this..., but judging by the photos, it's been awhile since Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes found out about this...

www.flickr.com

You asked for this...
katie holmes pregnancy photos 

Danza slams Cruise on this...

"I'm a little upset about this. Here's a guy out there lecturing people about drugs, but out-of-wedlock births don't seem to bother him. 

He's never (appearing on) my show, so it doesn't matter. 

I'm happy for them, but we're going to send them to Maury for a DNA test."

~ Tony Danza, on the announcment of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' pregnancy

Silent birth for this...

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Quit yellin', it's only childbirth

Katie Holmes' mission impossible will be giving birth without painkillers - or screaming.

That's because her fiancé, "Mission Impossible" star Tom Cruise, is a Scientologist.

Practitioners of Scientology are against drugs but insist on "silent birth" because they believe it's traumatic for babies to hear their mothers groan or cry. [...]

The father of Scientology says this...

"Maintain silence in the presence of birth to save the sanity of the mother and the child and safeguard the home to which they will go. And the maintaining of silence does not mean a volley of "Sh's," for those make stammerers."

~ L. Ron Hubbard, "Dianetics", Chapter X, "Preventive Dianetics", page 193

Next, the delivery itself should carry as little anaesthetic as possible, be as calm and no-talk as possible and the baby should not be bathed or chilled but should be wrapped somewhat tightly in a warm blanket, very soft, and then left alone for a day or so.

~ HCO Bulletin of 20 December 1958, "Processing a new mother" by L. Ron Hubbard

More on this...

Scientology - The Birth of a Thetan

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katie holmes pregnant scientology
tom cruise and silent childbirth
scientology silent childbirth

The spawn of Xenu immaculately conceived by this...

Q. Is Katie Holmes pregnant?
A. Reportedly so.

Q. When did Katie Holmes become pregnant?
A. Unknown.  But if the photos are any indication, shortly after she met Tom Cruise.

Q. Is the pregnancy part of the marriage contract?
A. Reportedly so.

Q. Will it be a natural childbirth?
A. Reportedly so.

Q. Will Katie be allowed an epidural?
A. Is that a trick question?  No drugs.  No screaming.

Q. Was Tom and Katie's baby conceived naturally?
Q. Was Katie Holmes artificially inseminated?
Q. Is Tom Cruise the father?
Q. Isn't Katie Holmes a virgin?
Q. Is Katie Holmes still a virgin?
Q. Isn't Tom Cruise impotent?
Q. Isn't Tom Cruise sterile?
Q. Isn't Tom Cruise gay?
Q. Didn't Mimi say Tom dislikes sex?
Q. What was Nicole's reaction to TomKat's news?
Q. Are Katie Holmes' parents upset over news of pregnancy?

These are all million dollar questions. I don't have answers. Only speculation.

The only thing Answer this... guarantees is no answer to this...
The truth about the baby, tom and katie

But I do have the answer to this...

Q. Is Tom Cruise nuts?
A. Let me count the ways.

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