FACT OR FICTION?
1. Tony Stewart got a haircut, a back wax and is "single" once again.
Fact. The girl and the well-groomed Chia pet are apparently incompatible this month.
2. Elliott Sadler is single again.
Fiction. Despite rumors to the contrary, Elliott is not single. He is, however, injured.
3. [Insert cute driver name here]'s girlfriend is pregnant.
Fiction. Again, despite rumors to the contrary, a popular driver and his girlfriend are not expecting. TGOM thinks this rumor stems from a few corn-flakey fans with warped expectations of the female form. A larger-than-size-0 waist does not always add up to an expectant mother.
4. [Insert veteran driver name here]'s ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
TBD. TGOM, et. al. are on bump watch. Some evidence suggests we'll see an uprising, but the jury's still out.
5. Jack Roush still hates Toyota.
DUH.
Dale Earnhardt Jr. thinks the offender should have their hard card taken away, but NASCAR says they won't get involved. Guess they don't always listen to Junior. Michael Waltrip has confessed the "mistake" on behalf of MWR.
Speaking of Junior ...
6. The tallglassofmilk and Dale Earnhardt Jr. have been secretly dating since they met in 2003, which is why we rarely see him in public with women and how he is able to control what is written about him and all the girlfriend decoys on Answer this...
For real? You just go right on with your bad selves and those imaginations. "We" decline comment on our personal lives.
Updates have been noticeably light since the beginning of Easter break, but the TGOM inbox is never dull. Hope y'all enjoyed my sharing and the setting of the record straight.
