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July 08, 2006

Michael Jackson is bankrupting this...

WTF? Why hasn't Debbie Rowe been given custody of her kids? Two years ago, a judge ruled her parental rights were not terminated and their father the guy pretending to be their father is obviously wacko.  He's fled the country to Dubai (where they are too kind to U.S. celebrities) so he can't be extradited for any future child molestation charges that could arise or made to pay back millions of dollars in debt he has left outstanding?!?!?!?!  And now he borrows money from princes?

Wacko JackoDude, I can't help but think you're going to be terribly exposed since you are renegging on your settlement agreement with your ex-wife. (Can't wait!)

Debbie Rowe to Jacko -- "I need cash, Stat!"

We're supposed to believe you love your own (?) children so much that you are bankrupting and dishonoring their mother?

Give her the cash you promised her, Michael, so she can pay her attorneys and rescue her kids from the grasp of your freakishly ginormous hands and dirty fingernails.

Who else can't wait 'til the kids grow up and write tell-all books?!?!?!?!?!

March 09, 2006

Who will care for the llamas elephants, tigers and orangutans at this...?

TheSmokingGun.com - Citing Michael Jackson's failure to cover his employees with required insurance, California state labor officials today effectively closed the singer's Neverland Ranch and fined him $69,000, The Smoking Gun has learned.

Investigators with the Division of Labor Standards Enforcement arrived at the sprawling Los Olivos estate this morning and served the below work stoppage order on a security guard. Additionally, in a March 7 letter, the state apprised Jackson that more than 30 workers have filed unpaid wage claims against him and that he owes those employees more than $300,000, as well as penalties in excess of $100,000.

The state's demand letter contends that Jackson has been welshing on his employees since last December. Today's state "stop order" bars Jackson from "using any employee labor" until he secures required workers' compensation insurance and warns that if Jackson fails to abide by the enforced work stoppage he could be charged with a criminal misdemeanor.

In addition to being fined $1000 apiece for 69 workers, Jackson is also liable for up to 10 days pay for those employees who now are no longer allowed to report to Neverland for work. While it is unclear how many workers are still employed at the cash-strapped Jackson's ranch, state officials used the 69 worker figure based on Neverland's most recent quarterly tax report, filed in December 2005, which said that 69 employees worked there.

According to state records, Jackson's workers' comp policy expired about two months ago. The 47-year-old singer has been out of the country since shortly after his June 2005 acquittal on child molestation charges. Since then, he has been spotted in Bahrain and, more recently, London. (3 pages)

State of California Dept. of Industrial Relations Stop Order

And they're homeless now, too.

Update: Turns out the llamas were already taken from this...

Jacko: Llamas, Alpacas Are First to Go

But there are still caged elephants, tigers and orangutans.  And what a shocker, he owes the vet money too:

   $          91,602 unpaid veterinarian bills +
   $          69,000 fine to state of California +
   $        300,000 in unpaid wages claims +
   $        100,000 in unpaid wages penalties +
   $     3,100,000 claim from gay p*rn producer Marc Schaffel +
   $   64,000,000 claim from fmr. mgr. Dieter Weisner
   $ 270,000,000 in loans+
   a custody battle that's heatin' up            
= Wacko Jacko ain't never comin' back from Bahrain

Update 3.10.06: Oh no!  The stop order is not limited to the Neverland staff but also applies to Jackons assistant and the staff at his parents' Hayvenhurst home.  Will Michael Jackson's mother have to make their meals and do their laundry? Will Joe Jackson be forced to tend his own lawn?

Update later 3.10.06: Janet Jackson will bail her little brother out again so her mom doesn't have to start making her own bed!

February 06, 2006

How poetic is this...?

An alleged child molester threatens to sing the poetry of the late harborer of alleged child molestors:

ROME (Reuters) - Pop star Michael Jackson could sing some of the prayers written by the late Pope John Paul, the head of the music company coordinating the project said on Monday.

Father Giuseppe Moscati of the Edizioni Musicali Terzo Millennio, which specializes in church music and organizes musical events at the Vatican, said his company had the rights to 24 of Pope John Paul's prayers and wanted to put together a group of international artists to set them to music.

"We have been contacted by people close to Michael Jackson who have expressed interest and we are thinking about it," Moscati said. [...]

Um, who is the target audience for this...?

August 04, 2005

Morphing the age progression of this...

Cause this never stops being fascinating:

Michael Jackson age progression video

June 20, 2005

Never copped a feel of this...

Michael Jackson's latest video - Never Copped A Feel

June 16, 2005

The historical importance of this...

Michael Jakson's "declared innocence" is on par with Nelson Mandela being freed?  The Berlin Wall falling?  Is there any reasonable doubt left that Michael Jackson has completely lost touch with reality?

Innocent
watch the timeline.  try not to hurl.


So, it's understandable that MJ touts his innocence, but there are several journalists and editors out there who need to brush up skills of logic and semantics:

Michael Jackson innocent: but how will History judge him? - The London News Review
Singer Michael Jackson innocent - Radio Australia
Michael Jackson declared Innocent - Prensa Latina

Is it just the froeign press having trouble with this...?  Nope:

Michael Jackson Innocent On All Counts - AP
Michael Jackson Innocent Of All Charges After Bizarre Trial - Forbes.com

NEWSFLASH!  Michael Jackson has not been proven innocent! He has been found NOT GUILTY! 

Some publications get the difference between this...

Jackson not guilty but far from innocent - The Daily Telegraph

And the jurors really get this...

"That's not to say he's an innocent man."

"He's just not guilty of the crimes he's been charged with."

 

No one over 13 admitted to this...

Party at Neverland Ranch Saturday!  BYOB*!

* B=babyfood

June 13, 2005

The verdict is in on this...

Wacko Jacko is...

not guilty

of anything.

Lock up the kiddies.

May 24, 2005

Never landing in this...

It's not hard to imagine why anyone would be unhappy about an alleged a child molester being acquitted and never landing himself in jail.  And while Michael Jackson may be completely out of touch with the rest of us' version of reality most of the time, Roger Friedman reports that he is lucid about this...

there will be people who won’t be so happy to see [me] moonwalk out of the Santa Maria courthouse a free man.

Ya think? 

ATTN. Eurpoeans and Africans, lock up your children!  Wacko Jacko [has already sold Neverland (?)] is making plans to relocate his alternate universe to your 'hood.

May 04, 2005

Selling out the Beatles and hedging the fortress on this...

Jackson was apparently shocked, according to sources, when he got word about the sale on Wednesday morning from Bank of America. He had previously rejected a deal that would have netted him money, cleared debt, and left him in good shape with people who were longtime friends.  But now he's in business with strangers.

Roger Friedman has exclusive details on the sale of Michael Jackson's loan against The Beatles catalog by Bank of America to Fortress Investments.

With this sale, Fortress now stands to become a 50 percent owner in Sony/ATV Music Publishing if Jackson should default on the loan. Technically, he is currently in default.

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