God Announces Recall of Entire Human Race
MORGANTON, W.V. - In what business analysts are calling a move unprecedented in the history of manufacturing, God announced yesterday the immediate recall of all currently functioning human beings. The action came after centuries of complaints to God by human beings who have long contended that something was seriously wrong with the human race. [...]
In the announcement God categorically denied that the recall was the result of a manufacturer's defect.
As one legal analyst noted, "While there is little record of mankind ever operating properly, it is also true that no human has ever been operated according to any of the manufacturer's instructions."
"I think we can safely say that the warranty on human beings is universally void," a product liability specialist added.
Despite this, God declared that He has extended the grace period for returns far beyond what is called for by law, offering it to all persons who admit a failure to operate according to design specifications and who promise that future operation will adhere to manufacturer's guidelines. God also said He will personally bear the costs of restoration for each and every individual accepting this offer.
Read the entire text of the recall at postcards from the pug bus.