Dale Earnhardt Jr. hitched to this...!
Get out the hankies, ladies. Dale Earnhardt Jr. is officially off the market.
NASCAR's most eligible bachelor is gettin' married! D-Day is Saturday, Nov. 22.
Q. You're kidding?!
A. Of course I am! But oh, how I wish it were true. How I long for the day I am able to write that headline and stop the question that plagues my inbox: "Does Dale Earnhardt Jr. have a girlfriend?"
Take a breath.
Seriously. How could I not have a little fun with the latest news to hit MySpace?! This month's most popular question:
Q. Is Dale Jr. dating a girl named Stephanie?
A. No. And despite the reality-challenged fan's claim in her alternate universe, he's not engaged to her either.
Q. Is he dating anyone?
A. He is maintaining status quo. Currently in a "comfortable situation" with a local (no, not that local), but it's nothing to call Grandma Martha about. The bed warmers names and faces in rotation change, but the song remains the same.
Q. Does Dale Earnhardt Jr. really have a girl living with him?
A. Yep.
Q. You kidding again?
A. Nope.
Q. What?! But ... but ... but you said ...
A. Now, before you go getting your panties all in a bunch, it's a strictly business, temporary relocation arrangement. But ... his "roommate" did lose her husband 'cause she got caught cheatin' with one of Dale Jr.'s friends ... and she later moved onto one of Junior's drivers ... and TGOM has it on pretty good authority that it's really Junior she's after. Well, duh! Who isn't? Take a number, sweetheart.
What have we learned? In the three years of answering this... "Does Dale Earnhardt Jr. have a girlfriend?," and long before that, the answer to the question has not changed significantly enough to warrant discussion.
Effective immediately, TGOM declares a moratorium on the "Is Dale Earnhardt Jr. dating anyone?" inquisitions! My tires are flat burnt out on this subject. Trust me, when some new earth-shattering relationship develops, we'll notice.
